Ghajini – Oh Boy, what a movie!

Don’t get me wrong. That little exclamation at the beginning was not out of joy, it was a yelp! Like I have seen Bollywood making worse movies, but this one takes the cake. Maybe this is what happens when Bollywood mixes with a hardcore South Indian masala entertainer – the result is Ghajini. I understand the director’s concerns and his final output, but what was Aamir Khan thinking? Maybe he too had some short-term memory loss while reading the script. He must have kept forgetting that what he was reading what pure crap. Actually, in the case of this movie, even the word crap is a massive understatement. I think even I have developed a case of short-term memory loss after watching this film and have therefore decided to ‘write’ about this film. And oh ye Southies, pardon my ignorance (and as I see it now, my good fortune) that I have not seen the “original” Ghajini and will therefore draw my parallels with the real original, Christopher Nolan’s Memento. Parallels. Yeah, that’s the word.

First things first – this is a direct lift from Memento. Well not completely direct, in the sense the whole Memento screenplay kept going from the back – you know the reason? Because the protagonist cannot remember more than a day’s work, remember? That’s the only way he can remember. And therefore, that is the only way in which he can tell you his story. So you see, copy director, making a film doesn’t just mean using your camera and marshalling your actors, it also needs the primary aspect that you missed throughout your whole feature – BRAINS! Though I also pity Bollywood in this regard – poor chaps come to the Bengalis to make Hindi films with brains and you get Raincoat and The Last Lear, which are even worse. At least these Ghajini kinds of films get your money back and though pictures like Raincoat and all are made with no money, yet I really don’t know how much they recover. So whichever way you look at it, you are in a lose-lose situation. Oh, I forgot, I was here to talk about Ghajini.

Yes, so where was I? Wait; let me consult my ‘notes’. Yes, half of the time I was writing notes since there was nothing much to watch in the movie anyway. Yup, let’s go from the basics. I’ll list out some of my cardinal grievances and see if you can identify with them.

1. When you are showing Aamir as a freak, the way he screams on seeing his tattoos and then his sudden bursts into strenuous exercise and all, don’t you think that a freak is more likely to shower without his shorts on? I know Bollywood has a problem with showing male nudity, but there are ways to show Aamir’s ass without showing his ass.
2. Who the hell in India has a collection of ten baseball bats, which too is used to beat him up?
3. The scene were Asin helps the blind man to cross the street is a straight lift from Amelie, only that it is in no way comparable. Amelie was a breathtaking scene – so was this, but for completely different reasons.
4. And oh yes, do please watch Jiah Khan’s performance at her ‘college fest’. Believe me even the Russian circus could not have done a better job.
5. The way in which Jiah Khan misleads Aamir into after their little chase scene, is a direct lift from... guess where?
6. And I always thought tattoos were permanent? Where had Aamir got his – in Photoshop?
7. Oh and also, after a man gets hit on the head and he develops a case of temporary amnesia, does he also get immune to pain and all? Like they kept hitting Aamir with anything they could lay their hands on, but he just kept standing there – he even defied all the laws of Rest and Motion that Sir Isaac developed after getting hit on the head by an apple.

Enough! Now let me come to the ‘acting’. I was extremely disappointed with Aamir. I never expected this from his. And I don’t mean his concept to take up this script, I am talking about his performance. He just wasted the whole role. Maybe the script also buggered his performance but then just see Guy Pearce in Memento. I understand that we may lack in technical support, but what about human performances? And that too from a man like Aamir Khan, our most cerebral actor. Really disappointing! The others were there and yet not there. You wouldn’t notice them or miss them.

Rahman needs to be beaten up. When he composes for Danny Boyle, he composes music like we know him to. But then, when he composes here in India, he composes such crap. Forget the songs (which were very substandard anyway), I am talking about the background score. There was a lot of scope in here, and he just blew it all apart. Again, very disappointing.

I have lost sight of why we are doing this. You want to screw your own happiness. Go ahead, watch the movie!